Five Things I’ve Done Since My Last Entry
5. Watched all four seasons of Home Movies on DVD
4. Successfully fought speeding ticket in traffic court
3. Vacuumed, bought lightbulbs
2. Shaved head
1. Finished law school
Regarding the last point, I’ve been struggling to find a way to come up with the perfect description of what it feels like to finish law school, but every time I write something, I sound like Albert Camus.
Law school ended today. My last class was Family Law. At the end of class the professor had all the third-years stand up and receive applause from our classmates. There was some clapping, and then I collected my books and left. I walked away from campus and into town to buy cottage cheese. I ate it quietly in the basement of the library. It did not taste very good.
Thus ends three years of the hardest work in my life, full of sound and fury and a mortgage worth of debt.
I started this blog basically because I needed an outlet to complain about things, because there are many thinks in life worth complaining about. People that honk their horns in traffic jams, for example. Or getting old. Or the fact that God made your feet smell when you choose to wear sneakers with no socks on hot days. I think people deserve the right to know about these things, and I'm just the douchebag to tell them.
I also have the occasional funny story that goes nowhere. Like last Friday I was out at the town bar with one of my friends and we decided to have a punching contest. You get one unblocked shot to the upper body as hard as you can. Suffice to say, there were no winners, only two complete losers. I'm also 99% sure that he broke a few of my ribs. I turned 34 in a few months, by the way. And we're both future lawyers.
And while I'm at it, how about this:
Five Rationalizations Use for Getting Back With an Ex-Girlfriend
5. Pressured by randy characters on Grand Theft Auto
4. Felt insecure after given wrong drink order by Starbucks barista
3. Yankees win, August 18, 2003
2. Revenge
1. Caught up in moment by John Legend CD
The world need to know these thing, and occasionally I will be revealing intimate details about myself. It's a cry for identity, really. There's a scene in an early Faulkner book where a character carves her name in the wood of a windowsill, just to define her own existence. That will always be the answer to why. Because we live in a really difficult world that constantly wants to forget us and can't wait to kill us off (nature is undefeated in this contest). Our only chance is to scream when we can. Because eventually I'll be dead. And so will you too.
And then there is always my iPod, which I'm convinced knows me better than any other human being on the planet. And that's sad, but whatever. From time to time I'll be telling you about my iPod. So there.
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